Things I've Learned Since Becoming a Farmer's Wife

When I fell in love with my 'farmer' he was not a farmer. He was an over-the-road truck driver in the perishable food industry (and equally busy industry but an entirely different beast). I always knew his long term plans were to retire off the road and go back into farming with his dad. He grew up on the farm and he didn't want to start and raise our (a) family while he was on the road and gone for 9 days at a time. He's a third generation dairy farmer and farming, of all kinds, goes back in his family tree further than you can see. I was raised in Lancaster County surrounded by tons of agriculture and farms but I had no idea what true farm life was all about. I honestly thought it was an easy, slow paced, simple kind of life with lots of freedom and family time. I've since learned my lesson--big time-- and continue to do so on a daily basis. In our 7.5 years together we have both done a lot of growing and changing and just like farming, there are never two days that are the same.

 Everything is planned around planting season and harvest season. 
Everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G
Weddings? Yes. The births of your children? Yes. Although we tried this, it never really worked in our favor. Date nights? Yes. Just pray for rain. Family vacations? Yes. The times you eat your meals? Yes. Showering in peace and quiet and getting 10 minutes to yourself? Yes. Just pray for rain. Family time? Yes. Just hold on for Sunday afternoon. This area of our marriage is where I've had to learn the most about compromise and patience. Farming is unpredictable.

The weather also predicts, well, everything!
Mother nature rules this roost and is the only one that's in control of plans when it comes to field work. It causes you to get phone calls at 4:00 pm saying that all plans for the evening need to be canceled and changed because the hay, the beans, the wheat or the corn needs to come off before a storm hits. Weather plays a huge part in the moisture of the crop and dictates when it needs to be harvested. (But I'm not going to lie to you guys when that 'special weather alert' flashes across my phone I jump up and do my very own happy rain dance!)

You will remember your children's births by the season in which they arrived.
Ava was born right in the middle of soy bean harvest. I'll never forget it, especially since she was our first. Aaron was so good about accompanying me to almost all of my appointments but since they were harvesting beans he was out working in the fields during my 40-week appointment. I called him from triage and told him to park the tractor where it was and get to the hospital ASAP because it was baby time. Charlotte was born during wheat harvest and it was a carbon copy scenario, the tractor was abandoned and he caught a ride to the hospital. So, if you ever see an abandoned tractor on a field, you can only imagine what that farmer is up to... Then with Naomi due to arrive at the end of January, I thought that I was in the clear. Well, it ended up being the busiest winter because they had just started renting and milking at a new farm. Aaron was up for a total of 24 hours at the time Naomi decided to join us (thank god she was our quickest delivery, 5 minutes) but the man only got a 35-minute nap in between her birth and going back to work.

Your husband will bring 'come-a-longs' into the delivery room.
For those who are not familiar, a 'come-a-long" chain is used to correctly position a calf inside the cow, they put the straps around the front legs and use the come-along to slowly pull the calf out. Aaron thought it would be hilarious to pack these and bring them along to Ava's delivery. Needless to say, our midwife wasn't too impressed and didn't find much humor in the joke. We were there to have a baby, human baby, after all. They were banned from the delivery room for all future births.

Your husband will relate your milk production/nursing journey to that of a dairy cow. I've heard things like, "Oh, I'll just go get you a shot of oxytocin" and many, many others. Or I would be compared to what group I would be in if I was a milking cow, group 1 for excellent production and group 3 with low production and have one leg out the door... {all of the eye rolls}

You find random and foreign objects in your washer.
Such as screws, nuts, bolts, bungee cords, breading gloves, heads of wheat, corn silage, and much more in your washer. Another farmer's wife told me that she could fix a tire with the things she finds in her husband's pockets.

A farmer's sense of 'time management' is slightly skewed.
Example: You add 30 minutes to everything he tells you- So when he says "I'll be home in 15 minutes." It really means he'll be home in 45 minutes.

Your farmer, always, always finds another farmer on vacation.

Example:

Him: "Hey, I'm going to go take a quick drive before the kids wake up and see if I can find any farms."

Me: {blank stare}

Him: I'll be right back. Should I grab some coffee?

{...4 hours later he's back, the coffee's cold but he met a really nice guy that runs a 400 head dairy...blah...I start tuning out...}

At some point and time, you will help round up a group of jail birds. 
Funny story, late one night, Aaron received a call that one of the gates wasn't latched properly and some 1st group cows were out. (Remember: these are the good milkers--they are NOT expendable!) So, he jumped in his pick up and went to help out. He was back about 30 minutes later and as we were settling in to go to sleep, both of us on our phones we kept side glancing at each other. I looked at him and said, "Would you please turn those cow videos off?". His response, "I'm not watching anything, you are." We both shot up out of bed and sure enough, there were cows in the front yard, on the road, and across the street in the field. About 10 of them got away from the original escapees and made their way towards our house which is about 5-6 houses down the road from the main farm. Now, we live on a busy road and it was a Friday night so just picture the two of us in pajamas and boots blocking our road with my SUV while he herds them back up the road with his pickup.

You learn to adapt and give grace.

All joking aside, it really is an amazing life. Farm life lets you look at the big picture and appreciate where things come like milk comes from a cow, not the grocery store. Ten years ago if you would have asked me where I'd be today, this is not what I would have pictured but I don't regret a minute of it. You learn to roll with the punches and gain a thick skin; especially when you stay up late at night talking your child through the loss of her first show animal. You'll come to realize that your husband isn't putting the farm before the family, he's farming for the family.They are natural born hard-workers and they can't even imagine not putting forth the extra effort that it takes to accomplish all that they need to, and I wouldn't want any other example of a man for my girls. Life is constantly switching itself up on me and I’m constantly adapting and growing. I've learned patience like I never thought I could; this lifestyle has changed my world, my values and my views in so many different ways. And, if my little ladies find a life partner who’s even half of the hard working man that their father is then they will be just as lucky as I am.