As I climb out of the cloud of uncertainty that has been circling my life over the past few months and gain a better understanding of what kind of trial I’ve been asked to deal with it becomes more and more abundantly clear to me the exact people he placed in my life to be my community during this time. They came to me in the form of several different personalities. Friends and family members who I had a current surface level relationship with but who I would normally reach out to in confidence. Yet, in my darkest hours there they were, shining brighter than all the rest, drawing me close to them with their love, understanding, and compassion.

One person helped me weather the actual storm brewing around me. She wore her raincoat and tucked her jeans into galoshes, lent me her ear and stood by me with every wave that tried to knock me down. The other women were standing there when I started to regain my footing on the rocky shale of recovery. Each one so precious and perfectly placed exactly where I needed them to be at the exact moments that I needed them.

I would be in the smack dap in the middle of a panic episode and my phone would chime with a message “Hey, how are you? I just felt like the Lord wanted me to pray for you right now.” Or I would be standing at my kitchen sink fretting about something silly and that very friend would pull in the drive and walk up to the door with a vase of fresh eucalyptus. He freely and justly gave me what I needed at that exact moment I needed it. He gave me that comfort because He cares. Why? Because He sees the full picture of what He is trying to create in my life. He’s not zoomed in on this exact moment in my story, His telescope has a much wider angle. He’s calling out and saying “Look at me! Keep your eyes on me. There is a reason but you don’t need to know yet. Just trust.” He is constantly using others around me to remind me that when the enemy is in the water, just look up!

God gives us a community.

For example, again, this morning I was scrolling Facebook and reading things that were just fueling my anxiousness. I've tried to stay away from extra information about the 'pandemic' surrounding us but I also need to be informed. It's a double-edged sword for those of us that deal with fear and worry. So as my chest is starting to tighten and a lump is forming in the back of my throat my cell phone dings! There was a message, perfect timing. It said "Good Morning Tiff my friend, may you be encouraged this morning and not live in fear while those around us seem to be trembling...may we be beacons of peace, filled with the hope within us." Guys! She had no first-hand knowledge that I was about to hop on my hamster wheel of worry, but He knew and He placed me on her heart and because of that she sent me that message and saved me from myself. No one, I mean, no one but the Lord can do things like that in your life. No one else, but the Holy Spirit, knows exactly what our hearts need when they need it.

He sends people into our lives before we know we need them.  He sends them to walk alongside us, to relate to us, to reach out and extend a hand to help us. But not to do the actual work for us, that’s where we still need to lean on Him to help carry us. It kind of plays on like that Cheap Trick song from the 70s that repeats over and over-- “I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me, I'm beggin' you to beg me.”

He just wants us to need Him, lean on Him and trust that he has our backs and best interest at heart. He will do good in His time. He knows me better than I know myself. It’s all hands on deck. We were not designed to do this alone. He wants us to use the community He gives us, and above of all-- lean on Him. 

Proverbs 8:17 (TPT) 

I will show my love to those who passionately love me. For they will search and search continually until they find me.

I’m a tired mom of three young and energetic children. I get burnt out. I dream of running for the bathroom, locking the door and putting on a face mask every time my husband walks through the door. For years I’ve been trying every self-care tip out there. I’ve read the buzzword articles that pop up stating ‘The Best Self Care Tips for _____’. But yet, friends, my anxiousness still remains. My cup tends to still feel half full. I drink lavender mint tea before bed but still wake up feeling heavy. I tried a new skincare cream and while my face felt smoother the wrinkles on my soul remain. I graciously took the two free hours my husband gave me on a Sunday and bounded out of the door to get my nails dipped, and while my nails looked fresh my frazzled spirit still had me tethered me to the ground. Why is that? I'm practicing self-care so what is still missing?

One morning last weekend while driving with my children they were in the back arguing over who is the oldest child of the family— I mean, obviously that one isn’t up for debate but yet they still debate it. I was sitting there dreaming of quiet and a few minutes of rest for my bleeding ears. BAM! I had a lightbulb moment, well, a lightning rod straight from above! The Lord whispers to me— “If you need rest, then rest in Me.” Wow! Just wow. It’s not often that I’m still enough to hear his gentle nudges but that day my defenses must have been down just enough. My thoughts and my mind starting spinning. I kept coming back to a certain thought— maybe true self-care doesn’t come from something tangible but it comes from someone. What if Jesus didn’t intend self-care to be solely treating our physical selves to a new haircare line, manicures, massages, date nights, bubble baths, mimosa brunches, and Netflix binges? 

The idea of self-care is used today to sell products, promote businesses and tell us that something will breathe life into our weary souls, but honestly, Jesus is the only breath of life. He’s the only one who can mend our hearts and fill up our depleting cup so that it runneth over. Everything else is of the flesh, skin deep, never truly penetrating our lives and making a true difference. The feeling of instant gratification is fast and fleeting. It’s here and gone leaving our souls still craving more. I’m not saying we shouldn't rest or take care of ourselves. The bible tells us to rest. I'm not saying that we shouldn't do things that we enjoy or occasionally pamper our tired physical human bodies. I'm just pondering the fact that maybe, just maybe the reason we still feel deflated and defeated even after buying a fresh bouquet of tulips for our table is that we aren't also filling up our spiritual cup at the same time. 

What if true self-care is meant to be spending time in His word, praying, refreshing our soul with the Holy Spirit, and sustaining ourselves on his truth and faithfulness? I feel that I personally need to schedule a time to spend in the word, quiet time reading devotionals, holding the bible between my two hands, asking Him for a verse to be laid on my heart and cracking it open to read. What if self-care is asking the Holy Spirit to breathe it’s breath into our lungs so we can exhale the anxiousness and be filled with the comfort that we are loved truly and deeply— no matter what? The Holy Spirit and the Enemy both operate in the same realm, the Enemy wants us to believe that we need more self-care of the flesh but all we really need is to invite the Spirit into our houses, physically and spiritually. If we stay still and rest in that truth then maybe all of the anxiousness and self-doubt will melt away like the bath bomb in your tub. 

Lord knows that I'm as imperfect as they come. Like, painfully imperfect. We keep aimlessly searching for the comfort that only he can provide, the inner-peace that we can only get from him. When we go to him, fall before him, lay our troubles at his feet then he will respond. As we wash our faces and apply our face mask maybe we can picture him washing away our doubts. As we paint our nails maybe we can see him strengthen our defenses. Let him be the seaweed wrap of our life, to hold us and to keep us safely resting in His comfort.

 “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.”

 -- Matthew 11:28-30 (TPT)