Luke 1:46-55- TPT

Wow. That is exactly how I’m feeling today. If I sat down to write all of the ways He has woven Himself into the details of our lives it would probably look unbelievable to most— especially in the past forty-eight hours. 

Aaron left for a trip to Idaho on Thanksgiving night and the thought of him leaving for eight days had my anxiety ramped up to DEFCON six. The night he left after we put the kids to bed I broke down in tears and told him that home just doesn’t work when he’s not here. If something major would happen I would need him around to keep me from coming unglued. He told me I would be fine and with a reassuring kiss planted on my forehead, he was off. While I’ve been doing a lot of learning and growing over the past year I still didn’t feel like I had complete healing from my anxious tendencies. The week hummed along smoothly until Thursday morning. 

Thursday morning I was tested again and the pruning ways of my Heavenly Father continued even further. I was washing dishes like I do every day, all day. Naomi was pestering for a drink after having a snack. She picked up my tumbler of water from the counter and made her way into the playroom to continue playing with her playdoh. Not even one minute later she was standing next to me, blood gushing from her mouth. At first, I had no clue where the blood was spilling from, and after a frightening examination, I noticed a puncture wound in the back of her mouth. That smart little girl had already grabbed a towel and was applying pressure the whole time while my instincts were starting to kick in. I grabbed my keys and wallet and rushed to the closest urgent care. Upon arriving at urgent care the bleeding was already stopping. After the initial assessment, it was decided Penn State Children’s Hospital is where we needed to go, and off we went again. 

She was sleepy from the event and woozy from the blood loss and took a nap in the car, I switched between watching the road and her breathing the whole way there. After arriving and being checked out we started to deconstruct the puzzle of what happened. We took the little information she gave us and the results of her physical exam to determine what happened. She was standing on her children’s size play chair (typical) dancing, it rocked backward while she was drinking from my tumbler and she landed on the cup. It impaled her soft palette and punctured her left tonsil. Sounds bad right? Yeah, my stomach sank. Then they informed me that we needed imaging to make sure she didn’t injure any arteries, specifically the carotid. My stomach sank even further. They also continued to tell me that surgery to repair the wound was a huge possibility. My stomach had officially fallen out of my bottom. 

Now I know you are probably thinking— “Wow, this is why I don’t give my kids straws.” Ok— that’s fair. But here’s the thing, and I’m not making excuses for what happened; I’ve given myself about a thousand mental black and blues over this freak accident. But that’s exactly what it was, an accident. It could have been a pencil. It could have been a pen. It could have been a toothbrush. It could have been a ruler. It could have been anything. It happened and now I was left to deal with the aftermath of what Naomi was going to endure. 

 At one time while they were trying to place an IV in my strong-willed three-year-old and sedate her I made my way to the bathroom, shut the door, and let the tears flow. I knew that what I needed at that moment wasn’t of this earth. Would having Aaron there make the situation less stressful? Yes, would be the short and simple answer.  But that would be me answering from the flesh. No, the help that I needed was from above. So right there in that hospital bathroom, I prayed for an army of warring angels to descend upon us. I petitioned heaven for the Holy Spirit to invade that hospital room and my heart. I pleaded for God to stitch up the shattered pieces of my soul and to help me to forgive myself for the reason that we were here at this very moment. I asked the person above for which all things are possible to give Naomi's team of doctors clear CT images and clear answers. 

 By the grace of God, after coaxing her to stay still the CT angiogram revealed that while the wound was indeed deep it was not deep enough to affect the carotid or any other major vessels. It punctured her tonsil in the exact spot where three major blood vessels enter the top of the tonsil. Hence the bloody scene from Carrie in my kitchen. There was another clear example of her guardian angel's protection. [Psalm 91:11] It was decided by the ENT team and surgeon that because of the blood loss and making sure it didn’t bleed again and need a procedure to cauterize the wound we earned a ticket for an overnight stay in pediatric observation. We started pain meds and settled in for the night. Naomi constantly blew the nurses away with her pain tolerance and what even looked like the beginning of healing in the mouth. The bleeding had not resumed and she ate an entire turkey sandwich. Yep, she turned down the ice cream and went for the sandwich. The ENT resident came in during the morning rounds and spoke with me. Since there was no bleeding overnight (Praise the Lord) we are able to go home. He did caution me with watching for neurological signs like weakness in the face. He used some other scary words like aneurysms, but a friend who works in the neurological department put my 'hamster wheel' mind at ease. Upon waking up her left eye was slightly closed more than the other, he said that could be swelling from the fall/injury and her muscles and limbs were moving correctly it all looked very promising. By 1 clock that day we were back home. 

Naomi soldiered through the rest of the day like a typical three-year-old. She slept all night, 8:30 to 7 am without waking for pain medicine. I didn't have the heart to wake her during the night even though I checked multiple times. When she woke up she didn’t have a slightly closed looking left eye like yesterday and all face muscles were still working perfectly. The wound was pink, a little red and white, and no evidence of blood. She's immediately started playing horses, asked for breakfast, and was 'neighing' like nothing happened. I just continued to keep reminding myself that of course, He is helping her, He loves her more than I do. He has a full desire to heal us, so why should we expect any less? A little later on in the morning I found out that my neighbor said the Lord had put my girls on her heart the day before and she had been praying for them without even knowing what was going on. Talk about chills. Hey God, I see you. [insert wink emoji] 

There have been so many testimonies in such a short time surrounding this event that I just had to sit down and write it out. God's favor on my life has been nothing short of incredible over the past year. I mean— it’s constant and steadfast. Just like Mary’s prayer in the first chapter of Luke. So instead of continuing to view the last couple of days as an attack from the enemy-- a friend of mine and I started talking about this in the context of God using it as a test or trial to seal the deal in my healing journey. I made myself believe that I would crumble if I was left on my own. But God firmly placed my legs beneath me with sure footing, on His rock. It was an act of pruning. He yearns for me to be completely healed so that I can walk out what he has set aside for me and get myself in the position to do great work and show His love. I can no longer allow my thoughts to be robbed by the enemy. He needed to show me again what He is capable of so that I believe without a shadow of a doubt that He is Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, beginning and end. 

He showed me that He is the ultimate healer, and while we put our trust in doctors and their gift it is He who controls all things. I think God showed me through this that it is He who keeps me glued together. My reliance has to come from above. I need to take his favor, trust in it, and walk out His goodness. And, as for my little miracle girl— she has some unfailing mercy interceding for her from heaven because she sure gives her duo of angels a workout. This entire experience can hopefully serve as a lesson for my active little firecracker, hopefully. 

Thank you to all who lifted us up in prayer during and after the event. We will continue to trust in Him that her healing will continue and we are eternally grateful for the mysterious and awe-inspiring blessings we have been given. If only I could have seen the battle being fought on the other side-- how beautiful and victorious it must have looked.