It's early. Too early even for the birds to be awake. Aaron just headed up to the barn, and the house is quiet. My two tiny dragons are still sleeping peacefully in their bunk beds, and the baby is back down after a quick feed. It's raining again this morning, but I don't mind it. My coffee is miraculously still hot, but my 'momma heart' is a bit heavy.

I started writing again as a creative outlet, mostly to share ideas and things I am currently enjoying, but so far every time I sit down to write a post I feel like I want {ok, need} to pour out my soul.

Yesterday was, well... a day. The morning started off great as they typically do, but by lunch time I could tell Charlotte was in need of a nap. Ava started not typically needing a nap every day, which is causing nap time for Charlotte to be a bit tricky. I honestly feel like I'm devising a strategic tactical plan when I think about how I'm going to handle the 12:30 post-lunch battle.

Well folks, yesterday I lost. {kids - 1 // mom - 0}Around 3:30 - 4:00 p.m., the wheels started falling off the happy express bus, and we were headed straight for crazy town. There were sibling fights breaking out over paper scraps (I mean, seriously), sassy words being shouted, timeouts happening, raised voices, and enough guilt to go around for everyone. Eventually the girls went to bed miraculously early, without much fuss; so as my day was ending, I started to analyze the events that occurred and of course started feeling like a 'bad mom'.

I prayed for a better day tomorrow.

Then, this morning when I decided to stay up after feeding Naomi to finish the last chapter of the book I'm currently reading, I was reminded of a big truth that's not always easy to allow yourself to believe:

"YOU ARE A GOOD MOM."
"YOU ARE ENOUGH."

The words stung. I said them out loud. I needed to hear them.

Here's an excerpt from the chapter, in case anyone else needs to hear these words this morning:

"Here. I'll say it again. YOU are a good mom. Has anyone told you that in a while? Or ever? Has anyone looked you squarely in the eyes and told you that you are doing a great job? Has anyone held your hand and reminded your heart that this whole being a momma thing is hard, and its normal for it to feel impossible some days? Has anyone ever admitted to you that she feels like a huge failure some days too?"

"Sometimes it happens in the middle the afternoon. The kids are fighting, and I'm trying to get the baby to nap, so I holler, "Go sit on your beds, and don't make a sound until I come get you!" And immediately, I feel guilty for how I have responded. I think about how they are just as important as the baby that I am rocking in my arms, and I wonder if they feel like I don't love them as much. I question why I couldn't just set the baby in his crib and give a kind correction to my older children. Why couldn't I just show them love when they needed it the most? Isn't that what I would have wanted someone to do for me?"

"So, if you'll let me, I'd like to remind both of us why we are not bad mommas. And hopefully, by the end of this thing, we'll have started a movement of women who want to speak truth into the hearts of other moms across the globe. Because when we mommas set our hearts on something, there's nothing that can stop us. And you and me? Well, together we just might be about to change the world. But it has to start with us. First, we have to believe it ourselves. So, say it with me: "I am a good mom."

Friends I feel like this, and if you feel like this also you are not alone. This next passage hit me right in the gut, it was like she was talking to me about my day yesterday. It's incredible to me how we just happen to read something right when we NEED it. She continues:

Lately, I've been wanting to be given grace in certain situations (see: laundry and dirty floors) but truth bomb... so do my kids. Now, there is a fine line between extending some grace and not letting them get away with something but sometimes they just need grace also.

My takeaway from this chapter is this:

Let's not focus on the #momfails, but instead let's change the conversation about motherhood. Call yourself a good mom, and believe it. Say goodbye to the negative feelings, because we all make mistakes. And by all means, stop whispering to yourself "if only I were a better mom..." Stop thinking "all the other moms are doing it right, and I'm not..."

Because, even though it feels like it at times, I know with all my heart that I'm not a failure. And I know you are not a failure. Let's be real for a minute. We are all trying to survive, we are all doing our very best, and the reality is - there is no one right way to do anything. You do what you need to do, do it the best you can do, and believe in yourself because YOU ARE A GOOD MOM, and YOU ARE ENOUGH.

We certainly don't hear it often enough. So let's commit to not only telling ourselves that, but let's commit to telling each other every now and then.

Ask yourself, "How can I encourage another mom this week? How can I help her believe she is a good mom too?"

Blessings, Tiffany

The book is:
Hope Unfolding: Grace Filled Truth for the Momma's Heart by Becky Thompson

We are officially in baby 'wait & watch' over here with 7 days to go until my due date which means lots of nesting, cleaning, waiting, waiting and more waiting... 

She's due on January 30th and while I've always wanted a February baby I'll welcome her with open arms anytime because honestly.. my muscles killing me (Epsom salt and lavender baths for the win!) Besides my kids walk right into my belly all the time and then tell me I'm in their way.
Oh, the joys. :)

We've already living in a smaller space and that's before we add another child to the mix. I know, I know, more space equals more things but with how big baby things are the extra space would be prime right now. One day. The girls moved in together and that has gone surprisingly well, thank the lord. The baby will take over the smallest room in the house that we have designated to be the nursery ever since Ava came along. Here are a few snap shots of the finished room. I have to say decorating for a boy would have been a nice change but it has been fun personalizing it for each girl and I think this one may be my favorite.

Wall Color: Kendall Charcoal by BM
Details: Crib // Bedding // Diaper Bag

Currently our basement living room is also our toy room, so thankfully I can hide the mess from visitors just popping by and also send the girls down there when I need to complete a task. Anyhow, here are my favorite new and old for baby!

Apparel - I've never had a newborn during the winter months so this is a new ball game for me. The girls usually just rocked light one pieces sleep sets and onesies for the first three months of their life. I stocked up on Babysoy beanie hat's as well as the matching Babysoy burpcloths because they are SO soft. Also I bought some impractical but totally cute sweater one piece sets because I just dream of the snuggles while she's wearing these. That pom-pom hat because, come onnnnnn SO CUTE! And with her arriving right before Valentine's Day I picked up a few heart printed things! 

Babysoy Beanie // Babysoy Burpy Set // Knit pom-pom hat // Penguin sweater one-piece //Bear Sweater Hoodie // 'The First Pair' Crib Mocs // Minnetonka Moccs

Gear - Our favorite brand of bottles with each girls has always been the wide neck Dr. Brown's. We lost our snuggabunny in our house fire after we had Charlotte so I replaced it with the snuggapuppy, I hope this baby loves it as much as the other two did, along with a borrowed MamaRoo from our sweet friends! We've used Maxi Cosi car seat for each girl, it's lightweight and fits nicely into our City Select Travel System. Aden and Anais swaddles because they are the best and a few new things I'm trying out this time is the Hevea natural rubber pacifier, a LouLou Lollipop wood and silicone pacifier clip, the Covered Goods carseat/shopping cart/nursing cover, Skip Hop winter care seat cover (see: winter baby. haha!) & the Puj infant tub. 

Dr. Brown's Bottles //  Fisher Price Snuggapuppy // Maxi Cosi Mico // aden + anais metallic swaddles // Hevea Natural Pacifier // Lolli Bubble Pacifier Clip // Skip Hop Sub Zero Car Seat Cover // Covered Goods Cover // Puj Tub




In addition to all this baby stuff because I'm craving ALL of the carbs right now here is my favorite new muffin recipe! It's bright and fresh and the perfect thing with a cup of tea on a chilly grey day!


Glazed Tangerine - Lemon Poppyseed Muffins

I've never realized how much people dislike the month of January. 

I personally enjoy this month usually because Aaron is at his slowest pace of the year (not completely true this year) and I appreciated the early dark evenings spent snuggled up with the girls. Also this month we will hopefully welcome our newest family member so that is something exciting to look forward too along with painting the nursery and washing tons of tiny baby things. 

Here are a few of my current favorite things that are brightening this cold but fresh new month of the year.

In the kitchen:

Tomato Basil Soup

2- 28 oz can crushed tomatoes

1 tbsp crushed garlic

2 cups can chicken broth 

2 tbsp sugar

1/3 cup butter

1 cup heavy cream

15 basil leaves, chopped

No Knead Dutch Oven Crusty Bread

{recipe link above}